Q1. What does Mother’s Day mean to you?
Mother’s Day is a Western idea, now getting popular in India. But we’ve always celebrated motherhood in India. In Indian culture, the mother is revered and comes before everyone else- Matru Devo Bhava. Mothers hold the family together and are the pillars of any home. Once a woman becomes a mother, she signs up for a lifetime of unconditional love and the joy of caring for a child who loves her, trusts her completely, and is completely dependent on her. Motherhood also means a lot of work, endless responsibility and worry about her child’s welfare. However, many times she doesn’t get the recognition and respect she deserves. So, celebrating Mother’s Day is a nice way of acknowledging what our mothers mean to us and communicating it to them.
Q2. How has it been for you to balance your profession and your role as a mother?
Balancing work and the role of a mother is not easy. Once we become mothers, there is this need to nurture and care for the children, however old they may be. I always enjoyed being near my children, being a part of their day, taking care of them and playing with them. I have recorded every single nursery rhyme that my daughter learnt in school. While I enjoyed being a mother, there was a side of me that kept getting pushed to the back burner. I had worked hard to become a Chartered Accountant and was extremely ambitious. There were some tough days when the need to grow professionally and to prove myself in the world was very strong. So, I tried to find a middle ground. My profession gave me the flexibility to work part-time and be back home by the time my kids came home from school.
The balancing act is tough, but motherhood is not all about giving. You receive the joy of nurturing a life, you are the centre of your child’s life (at least for a few years ) and receive unadulterated love from your child. When we work towards building a solid bond with our children and they trust us, that joy cannot be expressed in words. My children are 23 and 20 years old respectively. I know for a fact that I will be the first person to know if they are happy or if something is not alright.
Q3. What has been your biggest challenge and your biggest learning balancing both?
The biggest challenge is to overcome the guilt when we are away from the children and achieve our goals when we are on a break and caring for them. We are constantly battling guilt when at work and disappointment when away from work.
The learning is to make peace with your reality. If you are a stay-at-home mom or taking a break to care for your child, you must accept that your career might be affected. If you are a full-time career woman, you must accept that you will miss some of your child’s milestones or best moments.
There’s no point beating yourself up about it. The sooner you make your peace with your reality, the better. Be kind to yourself and remember that you are allowed to want things for yourself too. It doesn’t make you a bad mother if you want to advance in your career, nor are you lazy or less driven if you want to stay at home with your kids.
It also helps to remember that reality is different for each person.
Q4. What does wellbeing mean to you and how has it evolved for you across the years?
Wellbeing is very important to me. I have always emphasised having balanced and nutritious meals in my house. Home food is underrated, but it is the best gift you can give to your family and to yourself in the long run.
Exercise is also extremely important to keep the good hormones flowing. However, remember that mental health is equally important. I make sure I get my me time every single day. I pursue Carnatic music, chanting, and prayer. Find something that gives you happiness and peace and hold on to it. Be non-negotiable about it and everyone in the family will fall in line.
Q5. You’ve managed finances for around 200 clients across myriad industries. Many women are generally relegated to household needs and childcare; personal financial health generally takes a backseat. What advice can you give to help women financially empower themselves?
It is extremely important to take charge of your finances. If you need to contribute towards running the house, please do. But do save a part of your earnings for your personal needs. Try to learn about investments and savings. Make sure you are a co-owner in any property towards which you are contributing. Financial literacy is not rocket-science and there is a lot of information available on the internet. Do not leave all the decision making to the men of the house. Instead, be aware of your rights and participate in the process.
Q6. What tips can you give to mothers to help them achieve work-life balance and prioritise their wellbeing?
Work-life balance is not simple. The scales of a balance are constantly swinging. Some days work needs your attention, and you will have very little time for family or kids. On other days, family becomes a priority and work takes a back seat. It is normal for everyone. Be kind to yourself. Set realistic goals in both areas so that you are not frustrated. Make sure you take good care of yourself. Get those pedicures and massages! Buy nice things and pamper yourself. When you are in a happy place, your home becomes a happy place automatically. Work on building a good support system at home. And if the house is dirty, the skies won’t fall. Don’t take life too seriously.
